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High Telavivity – Take Five

In the spirit of John Cusack’s top 5 lists in the movie High Fidelity  here’s Tel Aviv in fives –part. 2

5 reasons to date an Israeli man

  1. he went to the army…you’ll always feel safe in his arms
  2. he will protect you from the bad local guys trying to rip you off thinking you’re just a dumb tourist
  3. he has this natural nonchalance slash indifferent attitude which is all you expect from a real man no?
  4. number 3 also means you like the way he dresses, like a real man
  5. he’s Jewish (

5 reasons not to date an Israeli man

  1. just a few table manners and universal rules of politeness
  2. just a few fashion donts such as short sleeved shirts, these horrible black squared shoes, wearing underwear at the beach, socks not matching shoe choice, wearing tanga underwear instead of boxer shorts, etc etc.
  3. ars-alarm
  4. why talk so loud?
  5. ask me if I’m French…and then, when I say I’m Belgian, he may add “oh but what’s the difference”

5 reasons for an Israeli man to date an olah chadasha

  1. she loves everything about Israel always & anyways
  2. no fighting for whos family diners to attend on Shabbat & Holidays
  3. he always has a good reason not to have to join her friends: he doesn’t understand their language
  4. he can be sure he’ll have a month off when she goes to visit her family…and he has enough internationality in house so no need for him to travel anymore (saving money)
  5. think about the children’s passport(s)

5 annoying nicknames Israeli strangers call you*

  1. mami (with current variation to mamoush and mama and may creation confusion with mums/mothers)
  2. neshama (free translation: soul)
  3. hatsarfatiya – the frenchie (and then i go, no i’m belgium about 25794 times a day)
  4. kapara (free translation: honey)
  5. motek (free translation: sweetheart)

*all of those words are generally followed by shelli, meaning my: mami sheli, neshama sheli, kapara sheli, motek sheli.

top 5 Hebrew words

  1. sababa (cool)
  2. stam (literally this would mean: just, but in context it’s untranslatable, we’ve tried)
  3. bichlal (literally this would mean: general, but in context it’s untranslatable, we’ve tried)
  4. balagan (literally this would mean: chaos, but in context it’s untranslatable, we’ve tried)
  5. tachless (doesn’t it come from Yiddish? it means bottom line or to the point and it is a very needed word in a country where too many people just talk too much and not do enough)

5 reasons to blog about TLV

  1. we don’t live in a war zone
  2. we have internet
  3. we drive cars, not camels
  4. to show some positivity about this country!
  5. to show off the good weather – 300 days of sun a year

needless to post 5 things I love most in Tel Aviv as I’m in love with Tel Aviv

5 things I hate most in Tel Aviv

  1. people that take themselves way too seriously like Hipsters (and make me wonder if it’s Purim again)
  2. joukim* even when they’re dead and laying on their back with their legs up (*a jouk is a cockroach)
  3. street cats (for the smell and their cries at night)
  4. honking cars (as part of a more general noise problem in this city)
  5. these guys biking by and throwing spa&massage cards on the pavement


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  1. hahaha, funny, and mostly very true! Op 21-mei-13, om 09:11 heeft Marilyn & Josephine het volgende geschreven:

    > >

  2. Funny stuff … but if your boyfriend uses any of the listed nicknames then you’re definitely dating the ‘wrong’ type of guy… 20 years later the sound of the word ‘motek’ still hurts my ears. How can a word intended to express love, sound so…. ouchhh!

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